After five kids from two marriages, I finally had enough. I scheduled a vasectomy.
The guys who had them reported varying degrees of discomfort. I could expect mild to moderate pain, followed by a short period of recovery.
They told me to make sure I had frozen vegetables on hand to help with the swelling.
I got increasingly nervous as the date of my appointment drew near.
I couldn’t imagine being cut on down there. Especially on what was known as the family jewels. I feared the pubic shaving almost as much as I did the operation.
We arrived two hours early as told. My wife and three kids parked themselves in the center of the waiting area. They whisked me upstairs.
I asked for anesthesia before I got shaved.
Sometime later, I woke up in post-op. There was a mild pain in my groin, but I felt better than I had anticipated.
I dressed and took the elevator to the waiting area. The kids ran up to me.
I shuffled over to my wife. She asked me how it went.
I looked at her with a pained face with downcast eyes, and said in a high falsetto voice:
“I got through it just fine with no complications!”
She burst out in laughter. It was a loud cackling laugh. She laughed so much, it was embarrassing.
She called me a fool several times on the way home.